


Golden

by acGranger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), My First Fanfic, Oneshot, Sirius Black Being an Idiot, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acGranger/pseuds/acGranger
Summary: When one touches their soulmate, the soulmate will begin to glow golden somewhere on their body. The place changes according to what one likes most about them at that moment.Or: the one where Sirius and Remus are made for each other but Sirius nearly fucks it up.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 311





	Golden

It was common knowledge. How couldn´t it be? How could anyone not notice them? The golden people, the blessed, the soulmates.  
As always there were different versions of the same story. Some claimed that the glowing would start once both soulmates where emotionally mature enough. Other said that both soulmates had to be over the age of 16.  
Both versions were plausible and nobody could technically disprove either. So it became an unwritten rule: once both were old enough, a touch between two soulmates would cause them to faintly glow. 

There was no universal way, which part of the body would light up and which shade of gold it would take.  
It solely depended on what the person likes best about their soulmate while they touch them. One day a touch would cause the eyes to turn a soft shade of honey gold; the next day the same touch would light up the hands in a darker shade, because one just saw the other gesticulating passionately and it made them fall in love all over again.  
Some days it wasn´t as easy to pinpoint the reason. Especially concerning character traits, the manifestations were a beautiful mystery.  
Liking the laughter of ones soulmate could end up with them exhaling a shimmering mist. Cherishing their joyfulness could lead to them emitting rose-golden sparks whenever they moved.

Sirius had known of soulmates but it took him years to really believe in them. No one in his family had ever shown the glow.  
For a long time it just seemed like a fairy tale he had overheard at some point. Only when Sirius came to Hogwarts and saw the glowing pairs in the Great Hall, common rooms and on the grounds, did he start to consider it a possibility.  
Nearing his sixteenth birthday believe turned into hope and short after that hope turned into fear.  
Sirius knew he was gay, knew he would be disowned for it and he knew that he couldn´t hide it from his family no matter what he tried. So when the summer came, he prepared for the worst and his mother proved him right.  
It was almost a relieve to return to school for his sixth year. At least at Hogwarts Sirius wasn´t reminded of his abnormality with every step.  
It took him weeks but at last he stopped having nightmares every time he closed his eyes. 

\---------------

It was November and he was rushing to the hospital wing to check on Remus before class started.  
Last night had been rather uneventful for a full moon, but the transformation still took a toll on Moony. As to be expected Remus lay in bed, still sleeping. He looked so peaceful, Sirius hadn´t had it in him to wake him. Still he sat next to the sleeping form.  
“Don´t worry Moony, we´ll take notes for you, you know we do. You just get better and heal.”, he whispered and, following a sudden urge, reached out to brush a strand of hair out of Remus´ face.  
The reaction hit him like a shock and before he had really realized what had happened he had grabbed his bag and stormed out of the hospital wing. 

Sirius found himself sitting in an alcove halfway to his charms class when his head stopped spinning. This couldn´t be real, he had to be imagining this. But why would he? Why would he wish such a fate on Remus? The suppressed memories of his mother’s voice echoed through his mind.  
_You´re abnormal, a disgrace. _  
_People like you are the reason this society is losing its virtue._  
_Back in the old days they handled scum like you the way you deserved._  
_Death is too friendly for you. You should feel the pain you inflict on this society_  
The insults were battled by another voice, much friendlier, the voice that had told Sirius that  
_ of course he was welcome to stay with them for as long as he liked_. Memories of Mrs. Potter started to fill his head.  
_ Don´t listen to Walburga, she has no idea what she´s talking about. You deserve to be loved, Sirius. We love you no matter who you love or date. Come here, it´s okay to cry. There is nothing wrong with you, my dear _.  
Sirius tried to believe those words but he couldn´t completely block out what Walburga Black had said.  
While he remembered being held by James´ mother, Sirius came to the conclusion that he couldn´t bother Remus with this burden. The poor boy already had enough on his plate without Sirius creating another problem.  
But there was one thing the raven haired boy was now sure about: he hadn´t imagined what had just happened. Remus´ scars really had shone golden when he touched him.

\---------------

It was late and Sirius was tired. All he wanted to do, was to go to sleep.  
The full moon had only been two nights ago and it had been a rough one. Remus had had to spend the last night in the hospital wing and Sirius wasn´t sure when he would be released. When he had snuck in the wee hours of the morning to check on Remus, the brown haired boy had been covered in bandages. 

During the last month, Sirius had avoided his best friend and soulmate. But in that month Sirius also came to terms with his feelings for Remus.  
He loved him and in hindsight he had loved him for a long time. Still he doubted Remus would appreciate the sudden declaration of feelings. As far as Sirius was concerned the werewolf wasn´t even gay!  
He was sure Remus would notice how troubled he was, if they spend time together. As a result of that Sirius didn´t get much sleep. Turning in late and waking up early to get breakfast before the rest of the marauders. 

When Sirius stumbles through the door to their dorm, he stops dead in his track. Remus is laying on his bed, rolled into a ball. Upon the noise of the door he lifts his head. Panic shoots through Sirius  
_ – he had to get away. Remus couldn´t witness his turmoil, he couldn’t know about his feelings_.  
Sirius was about to turn around when he sees tears in the brown eyes watching him. Then he notices the red around said eyes and the bandages still wrapped tightly around the arms. That moment was all it took for Remus´ face to turn into an angry scowl.

“Look who decided to show his face. Come to finally tell me what I did wrong? Why you´ve been avoiding me?”, a sob breaks through and the anger seems to be replace by sadness again.  
” Is it because you figured out how I feel about you? I know I look like a monster and I´m not exactly good company but I didn´t think you would be so grossed out. Listen it´s just a crush and I´ll get over it. Don´t worry your pretty little head over it. It was stupid anyway. But I needed you padfoot, I needed you and you weren´t there. And that would have been okay if you had just told me… to leave you alone instead of you….”, Remus starts crying again, his sobbing getting worse and worse.  
“…. Avoiding me…. And……” He´s sobbing so badly now, Sirius can´t understand him. After some time, the sobbing subsides and the black haired boy hears a faint “just go” from Remus´ bed. 

Belatedly, Sirius realises that he was still in the doorway. Cautiously he starts to move towards the bed.  
“I didn´t… I didn´t know you felt something for me. I… I wish you would´ve told me. Merlin I feel stupid. It´s just that…. I know you don´t like them and…” his voice drifts off. He´s standing beside Remus´ bed now. Nervously he sits at the edge, hands shaking.  
“You see, I was scared… my mother… she used to say these things and…. you already have so much to deal with ….”  
A tear falls down his face, but he spares it no attention, his mind completely focused on the figure next to him. After a deep breath he says:  
“THIS is why I was avoiding you”, and reaches out to touch the others hand.

As he expected, Remus´ scars began to shine with a soft gold almost toffee coloured. It still awed him how compassionate and loving Remus was although he had to endure so much on a daily basis. What he didn´t expect per se was his own hand emitting a soft glow. A quick check told him that his whole body seemed to glow.  
Sirius focuses on Remus again and upon seeing the confusion in his soulmates face, realizes that Remus can´t see his own shine due to the bandages still covering his body.  
Gently Sirius reaches out with his free hand and turns the other boys head towards the mirror across the room. He too looks, seeing both his soft expression as well as his soulmates overwhelmed one. Sirius tears his gaze away from the mirror and looks directly at Remus.  
“You don´t look like a monster Moony, you look like an angel.”

**Author's Note:**

> It started out with a tumblr post by @praecipiopatronum about kintsugi- the beauty of imperfection. cut to me writing a headcanon to their cosplay and THEN cut to me writing this at three in the morning. I don´t know what happened. Somewhere there it turned way darker than I expected it to (thanks Walburga -.-). Anyways this is my first fic and unbeta´ed.  
Comments and constructive critique are appreciated :)


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